Reality sinking in

I have just hit 40 and it has made me realize about life. I am confused and somewhat clear also. maybe a midlife crisis is about to set in and make me more miserable but I am not sure.

remembering a lot of people today. a lot of places also. missing Islamabad also today. the Islamabad from the 90s. the time period is beyond me but it is hard to let go. maybe it is hard to let go of anything that was good.

Am I the only one who is stuck in this time loop in my head. I am not able to get out or leave it and move forward. it is anchoring me and stopping me from moving forward.

I miss the Jinnah Super of 90s, the hot spot, IMCB F-7/3, NCC and taking Van 120 to F-10. Walking sometimes from F-7/3 to F-10, I would pass by the Froebels school, Rana market, Fatima Jinnah Park, many times I covered this distance on foot. time didn’t matter, there was a whole life in front of me.

Now that is 20 years behind me and not much life in front of me. I had my chance, did I make a difference or just let life go. Maybe time will tell. those missed relations, those missed opportunities, those missed laughs, and friendships.

All have passed me. Maybe i passed myself through this time.

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